<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=22429884&amp;blogName=the+girl.the+rain.the+story&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=SILVER&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fbloorayne.blogspot.com%2Fsearch&amp;blogLocale=en_US&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fbloorayne.blogspot.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=22429884&amp;blogName=the+girl.the+rain.the+story&amp;publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&amp;navbarType=SILVER&amp;layoutType=CLASSIC&amp;homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fbloorayne.blogspot.com%2F&amp;blogLocale=en_US&amp;searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fbloorayne.blogspot.com%2Fsearch" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>
Love, Me.
Having so much to say,
and watching you walk away.
'not seeing that loving you.

krise.rayne.
scorpio
16nov


'is what i was trying to do




Do not remove. :)
Layout by : N-serendipity.
Icons by : Black-balloonxx.
Floral Patterns : Blue_mutzz.

---

&theheartrideson.
再下场雨我才能够靠近
forgivemeifyoumaynotfindme.
comm(u n i)cation
我确实说 我这样说 我不在乎结果
You'reastoryicanttellanymore.
放不下你是我活该
thatimsupposedtogo
你的世界我在哪
ihavetobedrunktotellyouiloveyou
fearofablankplanet
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经
可以遗忘是幸福的,被遗忘则是最痛苦的。
'iletyougosoicanbefree
没有选择的我绕道驰骋
ineverfoundthewordstosay,eventhough...
'bee,you'llalwaysbemyfirstcar'
一直太入戏 若即若离是你完美演技
havin'somuchtosay&watchin'youwalkaway,
emhtiwyats
能摆脱寂寞我什麽都肯给 就像个傀儡
我假装无所谓 才看不到心被拧碎
原谅我就是这样的女生
天使忘了飞翔
需要暂时的抽离,抽离这假装的我可以
失忆症是一种无法治愈的清醒
一个人离去 另一个学习忘记
像是鸵鸟相信时间是唯一解药
let this be my last word, that i trust thy love

  • LFR. whyyou.
  • Sunday, December 27, 2009
    many times when i recalled the dream today, i felt a rush of topsyturvy.

    in the dream i saw him clearly. im not sure why he appeared in the dream, because i havent seen him for a long time. but im sure i saw him. but this time, he's on a wheelchair. when i hit my head, only he turned back for me. because he has the expertise, he ensured i was okay. but i fainted anyway. in the end, we both flunked the test - cause of me. he lied to save me from punishment. he pretended to fall to save me from getting scolded. at that point i heard him cry, and i couldnt help but do the same. i screamed for help "can someone help?!" and he continued to pretend to lose consciousness. but still, we flunked the test. no way to redeem ourselves. because we didnt make it to the final stop in time. cause he fell back for me. the officials came by to pass us the walkietalkie and i said "only those who are late will get it" cos the officers wanna summon us back to the meeting area. but he ignored it and continued checking my injuries. then i stood up and wanted to push him along so that we wont be late, but i fell cause the previous hit on the head was too hard.

    at one corner, another 2 people flunk the test. and i saw her. i saw her crying. because she wanted to pass badly. but, he didnt express sadness. and me, was just guilt ridden. cause i knew he wanted it very much.

    i kept seeing "nirwana gardens" in the dream. it must be cause of the trip. im supposed to go around returning those shirts to the respective places and then fall in in time. many times i couldnt find the place and got lost in the big big area. i kept going round and round to prevent myself from getting caught by bad people, but each stop seemed familiar yet not the right place. taking unfamiliar buses, seeing another friend - secondary school friend - and she said she finished her university studies already which was supposed to be 4 years. bewilderment caught me. but the bus pulled out of the berth before i can ask.

    alot of broken scenes and i dont know if they belong to the same scene. but im thoroughly disturbed.

    i know i saw him. it was him alright. so many years..
    but, why him. why after so many years.
    why for me..

    renew. || 12:44 AM

  • thechuchizhiwairubbishstory
  • Saturday, December 26, 2009
    arhtu,


    7. 84. 364. 2548. 61152. 3669120. 220147200.

    i wanna say thank you thank you thank youuu (: (: (:

    though we didnt talk as much this year,
    though we didnt mesasge as much this year,
    though i didnt call you as much this year,
    though we were busy this year,
    i didnt forget the story.
    i didnt forget the character.
    i didnt forget the =)

    last year you said, 6 years is enough to complete primary school.
    now 7, enough to finish secondary and JC both.
    but 7 is enough, yet not enough (:

    cheers & loves,
    arhwan.

    renew. || 11:41 PM

  • hear her.
  • Tuesday, December 22, 2009
    she. wants to say bye.

    renew. || 12:44 AM

  • maybe that was what it meant.
  • Monday, December 21, 2009
    the dream was freaking scary. of intensive scolding, crying, screaming and most vital of all - heartbreak. worst thing - you. full of you. of you turning violent, of you wanting to hit me, of you wanting to lunge at me to destroy me. of you spoiling my birthday. of you making everybody wait. of you constantly quarreling with me. of you and you only.

    i remember vividly, that i repel the idea of approaching you. as i walk towards you, i wanted to hide. hide away from you before you can see me. ambivalence flooded me. but i ended up walking towards you because i have to acknowledge you. hit you on the back casually and said hi. as though we were still like yesterday. things turned ugly after a while. because you thought what i said was wrong. and everything spiraled downwards from that point. what saddened me to a certain point was that, i ran out of the room, behind a pillar and shouted the eff-word a few times while crying so hard.

    i hated it the moment i wake, because the dream was excruciating.

    goodbye you.

    renew. || 11:41 PM

  • coincidental collide
  • a case of coincidence at play.
    dammit la.
    she told me to not doubt anymore.
    it has became a case of 是又怎样不是又怎样.
    for tonight, can it be just for tonight
    that i'll grant the benefit of the doubt.
    tonight, i'll choose not to believe.
    coincidence it shall be.
    but dammit. coincidence is for once.
    then let it be the last 'once', after so many.

    if you'd ask me,
    its really getting increasingly unconvincing.
    im trying very hard to believe.
    i dont know in u. or in me.

    if its really that case,
    then u can afford to make it less stark.

    yes, it does tip my balance.
    but i dont know what's the mechanism going under the turbulence.
    i hope one day there'll be cease fire.
    if not, im afraid i would...

    renew. || 3:13 AM

  • as we continue treading on.
  • seriously, i never ever felt i done enough.
    not for you anyway.
    but what's enough.
    - what you've done so long.

    renew. || 2:13 AM

  • if you leave it to fate
  • Thursday, December 17, 2009
    she was so true.
    i could feel my heart tearing into pieces when she broke the news.
    i could feel her beside me trying very hard to digest every piece of information.
    i could make do with one less thing on mind.
    but they coincide nicely.
    i recalled about a year & a half ago.
    just as she looked at me,
    i dropped her gaze with immense guilt.
    guilty that i didnt say the truth,
    or guilty that i found out the truth?
    did she know more than what i knew?
    she repeated it as though the information didnt prick.
    im sure it did.
    she said she was clever, she said he was clever.
    so who's the cleverer one?
    just because its like that - we are thus in this situation now.
    status quo.

    that was the reason why i didnt like it.
    yet at the same time i want to know badly.

    *
    back then, when i knew of it,
    i turned to you
    & borrowed a little of your time.
    and now, how can i return it to you?

    and i detest the place.
    cause i left the place crying the last time.

    renew. || 1:49 AM

  • 怎样才能习惯
  • 我睁开眼睛 却感觉不到天亮
    东西吃一半
    莫名其妙哭一场
    我忍住不想
    时间变得更漫长
    也与你有关
    否则又开始胡思乱想

    我日月无光
    忙得不知所以然
    找朋友交谈
    其实全帮不上忙
    以为会习惯
    有你在才是习惯
    你曾住在我心上
    现在空了一个地方

    原来爱情这么伤
    比想像中还难
    泪水总是不听话
    幸福躲起来不声不响
    太多道理太牵强
    道理全是一样
    说的时候很简单
    爱上后却阵脚大乱

    只想变得坚强
    强到能够去忘
    无所谓悲伤
    只要学会抵抗

    原来爱情这么伤
    原来爱情是这样
    这样峰回路转
    泪水明明流不干
    瞎了眼还要再爱一趟
    有一天终于打完
    思念的一场战
    回过头再看一看
    原来爱情那么伤
    下次还会不会这样

    *

    everytime.
    that 4 lines caught me everytime.

    renew. || 12:36 AM

  • how presence can be absent.
  • Wednesday, December 16, 2009
    for a moment,
    im sorry.
    im sorry that i doubted u.
    i wish so much that my doubts are unfounded.
    but so what if they are or if they arent.
    did i doubt u or did i doubt myself?
    doubt my own conviction that i dont really care about you anymore.


    "And when i was young i didnt understand, but now, i know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird. if i had to live on without you i know i could not do it.
    - TimeTraveler'sWife. Audrey Niffenegger.

    renew. || 11:00 PM

  • iamnotsad

  • (picfromcj)
    if im am not
    then why does the heart feels so heavy
    & empty.



    renew. || 2:13 AM

  • somanylied.
  • 我输,我输了。
    for a moment
    i felt defeated.

    your name appeared to be very stark amongst all.
    shit - i mumbled to myself.
    the few words that followed after then became salient
    too salient for my liking.

    would you have bothered to say anything if i had told you.
    told you something i always wanted to tell you,
    but only till now then i had the chance to.

    the dreams are getting heavier.
    i dont like it at all.
    i dont want to see you in them.

    and i bid goodbye silently to it.

    只能说我输了,sweetdreams, wan an.

    renew. || 12:42 AM

  • thats for you to know for me to find out, right?
  • Tuesday, December 15, 2009
    "xiao qi gui"
















    whereareyou.

    renew. || 1:08 AM

  • dontwanttoknow
  • Monday, December 14, 2009
    i dreamt of you. freak. i dreamt of you.
    i didnt know if its true.
    but when i woke up i know its not.
    cos its you.
    i didnt remember i think i suddenly recalled.
    freak.
    dont let it be true.
    in it, she hid the truth.
    you didnt return did you?

    ): ): ):

    renew. || 1:44 AM

  • pantry mascot (:
  • just wanna earn that smile (:


    HAPPY BEARDAY (:

    renew. || 1:37 AM

  • house on planks.
  • Sunday, December 13, 2009
    6 bedrooms. 3 for us. 12 of us & seafood aplenty.

    sun very big. smiles very big.


    renew. || 12:43 AM

  • back to zero.
  • Saturday, December 12, 2009
    i officially wiped my account EMPTY.
    the last transaction.
    declared bankrupt.
    *
    but anw,
    me loves the 12(people) on the 12th(day) of 12th(month).


    on the 12.12 morning (:

    renew. || 10:40 PM

  • what dont break you;
  • Friday, December 11, 2009
    i guess its a much needed trip -
    for you and for me.
    though different.
    more importantly, i hope you'll heal.

    *



    the bouts of rubbish laughters sets me against myself
    as i try to tease apart whats real and whats not.
    i have much work to do,
    and i have much thanks to give.

    for a moment there, i thought i saw you
    then i realised, i was afraid.
    in any case, i was afraid.


    renew. || 12:17 AM

  • we shall see.
  • Thursday, December 10, 2009
    i took my first step.
    is it impulse or not?
    everytime i sign my name, i feel a false sense of excitement.
    it was a heck-la! thing,
    if i forever not gonna do it,
    then i will forever be keep WANTING so much for it.

    now that this first step is taken,
    everything seemed so unreal.
    like something unreal somehow got materialised.

    but that aside,
    i cant wait!
    months later, i dont know how many though..
    i hope i will have what i want to have.

    and meanwhile,
    the whinings will change from "i want...." to something else.

    but, i finally stepped a step closer to it,
    after so long.
    finances issue will get sorted somehow, though im afraid of it getting too heavy.
    this 'want' has been around for so long,
    and there's a reason why it was kept at bay for so long.
    now that i just override the obstacles and went ahead, what's gonna happen then?

    things will fall into place right?

    renew. || 12:27 AM

  • merging brings about happyness (:
  • Monday, December 07, 2009
    one was 'served with the candles'

    the other was 'volley in the rain'.


    22 (:

    THANKYOU dpnsubay (: (: (:

    renew. || 9:46 PM

  • it was just almost.
  • you know, i dreamt of you today
    you know, i didnt know how i survived the dream.
    you know, i woke up thinking it was real
    you know, i almost wished it was real.
    you know, i almost thought i wanted you back in my life.

    you know, imissyou.

    of course you dont know.

    and she kept saying "you dont keep falling into that shit" - in the dream.
    i think she meant it in real life too.

    renew. || 7:44 PM

  • we'reourgreatestenemy
  • Sunday, December 06, 2009
    "compLete not compete."
    "i damn jetlagged but im still running!"
    "im slow! dont be behind me!"
    "im lousy.."
    "L" plate
    "go daddy, go leo"
    "in loving memory of XXX"
    "keep" "going"
    "4th marathon 2009"
    "12th marathon 2009"
    "imagine the impossible"
    "you are great".

    and the list goes on.
    overwhelmed with admiration.
    unimaginable. but imagine the impossible.
    from the bottom of my heart,
    i admire everyone who donned the white bib.

    and tanhuiqi will write..
    "Follow me. Be the Last". GRINN(:

    *and i saw a few unexpected people today - stephen lim, nianjia, terry, nellyn.. (:



    /thankyou misswong. thankyou.

    renew. || 11:50 PM

  • theheartrideson.
  • Friday, December 04, 2009
    因为要比幸福更幸福。

    therefore, 3peace.

    renew. || 2:30 AM

  • learned helplessness.
  • Tuesday, December 01, 2009
    i want to tell you badly how much i understand
    then for you know that you are not alone,
    but each time i held back that instant,
    cause i cant convince myself that im of certain help.

    i cant provide the answers to your solutions
    neither can i ameliorate any part of your pain
    but you are this existing entity which im well aware of
    which i want to keep loving.

    iloveyou.

    renew. || 9:40 PM

  • thankyouverymuch.
  • suddenly, a group of guys below my block screamed "ROD LO!" in unison.
    so random, but i like.
    but they could have done it tomorrow.
    so that i can scream in solo "FINISH EXAMS LO!" also.

    that is for tomorrow,
    and as for today, lets go.

    hypochondriasis & social phobia - may you not back out on me tomorrow.

    renew. || 12:09 AM

  • ♥ true loves.
  • Sunday, November 29, 2009

    [ just a short insert before i start work for the night. - havent posted for mine yet though]

    true blue italiano rocks.
    i have gotta admit.. the italian stuff done in the true blue italian way is freaking sexily good.
    its wayyyy over any pastamania or same.
    cant fight (the moonlight) -.-

    walas, chickenwing, daiquiri (not fantastic), asahi and lousy calamari rings with wonderful people makes me wanna skip the last paper.

    makes up for the lousy pics for the night though.

    //thanks guys for planning for the bdays in this hectic exam period and thanks for all the effort that went in to all these. heartfelt thanks. (:

    renew. || 12:29 AM

  • gong lang.
  • Friday, November 27, 2009
    老天若只疼憨人
    你为何不在身旁
    傻傻将自己捆绑
    误把嘲笑当奖赏

    老天若会疼憨人
    他是否也曾设想
    幸福是为自己圆一个谎

    *

    阁楼头遭看烟火
    话不说就走过
    醒在更懵然的我
    瞥见周盛开花朵
    分熟人儿不安妥
    守在合垸旧角落
    咬下夕遗憾一抹
    苦过月青涩瓜果
    宫命理被谁反锁
    逃不过他指掌握
    失意红颜交叉摸索
    走失而兜圈的扎裹

    renew. || 11:50 PM

  • leave me.
  • "last time" are the words i add to the end of the sentence when i talk about you now.
    close is history.
    close the history.

    - but you are not transient.

    renew. || 5:58 PM

  • we wage war on the same ground.
  • Wednesday, November 25, 2009
    you care to pass me the survival kit?

    btw, plasters and lotions are not sufficient.

    add some ammunition.

    bahbahbahbah- and we all fall down (like soldiers).

    i dont know who's my enemies anymore - the profs or the students.

    *

    we sian-ed when its open book cos that means everyone is on the same playing ground

    but we sian-ed even more when its closed book cos that means everyone is level off differently already - subjected to zai-ness.

    so we'll hope that it is open book. but silently hope that people dont do as well too.

    renew. || 1:01 AM

  • i cannot.
  • Sunday, November 22, 2009
    if i really dont like it how?
    i cant say can i?

    renew. || 4:55 PM

  • hanszimmerishgood.
  • i feel that im on the battlefield,

    be it cause of the pearl harbour soundtrack that im hooked on
    or the lecture reading papers that im gruelling over everyday.

    [ there you'll be. tennessee. brothers. and then i kissed him. i will come back. attack. december 7th. war. heart of a volunteer. ] -youcanaskfrommeifyouwant (credittojj) (:

    its good stuff really. makes me go on.
    lets go. lets go. lets go.
    fightfightfight.
    they fought to survive.
    we shall too (:

    renew. || 3:12 PM

  • - positivity can only go so far.
  • if Fear is not the Emotion for now,
    i dont know what is.

    when stakes are high,
    there can only be two options:
    chiong or siam.

    i dont practice what i preach.
    who does.

    information overload.
    knowledge undermanaged.
    brain unwilling to cooperate.
    body screwed up.
    relentless rain.
    perfect combination for F------.

    but no. we shall fight and charge full force.

    renew. || 4:13 AM

  • through and though.
  • Friday, November 20, 2009
    "focus on what you can do. dont get struck on what you cant"
    -e.t.2009.

    good stuff.

    renew. || 9:02 PM

  • from me.
  • what.
    what is it that you want.

    renew. || 3:19 AM

  • unavailable.
  • Sunday, November 15, 2009
    the number you have just dialed is currently unavailable.
    please try again
    thank you.

    if you are tired, then dont bother trying.

    renew. || 8:38 PM

  • iceskim

  • iwantmyhappyfood.

    iwantmyicecream.

    renew. || 5:29 PM

  • closemyeyes.
  • uber tired
    just wanna sleep.

    renew. || 4:46 PM

  • thedreamsucks
  • the dream sucked.
    70dollars for life - you choose the amount you deemed fit.
    i quoted 60 and explained my reason.
    he quoted 35.
    i fought so hard to live.
    i fought so hard to survive.
    i want what i deserve.
    no doubt, i failed the last part,
    but out of the three part, i think by surviving the first two
    i ought to receive something.
    i wanted to change to 70 - simply just by surviving to receive.

    a shot will get you dead.
    then all you will be remembered is by your beret.

    first part,
    you have to cross 4 obstacles, running to the opposite camp
    such that you have to remain alive.
    the opposite camp shoot as you run,
    shoot as you climb.
    shooting stops when you reached their platform.
    deep sea, cycling along a small platform on the deep sea,
    swimming to out'run' them, speed boat. and ultimately
    still gun shots.

    second part,
    in a garden, detecting enemies
    an old man sitting in the park.
    eyeing suspiciously,
    awareness heightened, and he suddenly charged at us.
    killed.
    he's not the only one.

    third part,
    basically, you just have to shoot whoever you see.
    except your squad.
    very excruciating.
    you just have to fire.
    hide. fire. hide. detect explosives.
    and, get left out.

    ah, maybe im made out to be in the field.

    *

    i still cant find my super uber expensive necklace ):

    renew. || 3:08 PM

  • seletar sunset.

  • thank you for the super ulu-ed and long drive
    and fulfilling my long time dining craving at the place.
    thank you for the one word by one word syllabled song that you all had to sing 3 times,
    which made me cracked up all over that i just cannot stop laughing,
    but still hear the song no matter what.
    thank you for having to pei me cos i didnt want to go back just yet.
    thank you for spending so much for my day,
    flower & cake & dinner.
    thank you for the k-session for me to let loose & let go.
    thank you for sending me back home.

    thank you for letting me go back to where i fell,
    so i can pick myself up from there again.
    both places hold too much painful memories,
    where only by exposure that i can ever face them again.
    thank you for making me hit the bottom,
    so that i can go up again.

    thank you for offering to stay up,
    to make sure im okay.
    though i couldnt take it though i did try,
    in still hanging by that thin line.

    i said i wouldnt yet i did.
    im sorry.

    renew. || 2:27 AM

  • 我怀念的 365
  • Saturday, November 14, 2009



    iloverainynights.
    they'recalledemonights.

    再下场雨我才能够靠近
    感谢我不可以
    拥抱你的背影。


    renew. || 12:57 AM

  • theseletarwaters.
  • Friday, November 13, 2009
    without you,
    i'll be good.
    if i have the chance,
    i'll go take a look at it again.

    i asked for it this time last year,
    but i never got it.
    it came one year later,
    but not from you.
    but im glad for the chance.

    one year late.
    diminshed effect? no.
    i still yearn for it.

    renew. || 11:52 PM

  • back to scratch
  • on one hand, the scores dont stay so when you are not performing, you can always look forward to the next wash to climb up again.

    on the other hand, the scores dont stay so when you are performing, its actually very saddening to see split second success.

    your happyness get washed off just like that.
    get reset to norm. reset to null. to zero. to nothing.
    life doesnt do that. nothing goes back to nothing.
    it doesnt just revert back to a blank state just like that.

    the ironies of life.
    of reality.
    of stupidity.

    we work so hard for nothing.
    - false chance?
    - back to scratch?

    how do we iron out this discrepancy?

    leave the traces behind.
    they wont disappear
    but they can just be invisible to the eyes - like germs & bacteria.

    *

    who are we kidding? trying to outperform yourself or outperform others?
    we do not have the calibre. yet we try to fake it.
    i dont know if we'll succeed in the end,
    but i wanna give it a try.

    channeling all resources into it runs the risk of total collapse.
    emotional, physical.
    im willing to take that risk.

    [angsty] - i think this word is nice. but im not in an angsty mode. im just _______.

    *

    allele. homozygous. heterozygous. dominant recessive trait.
    keep going.
    you cant turn back now.

    "im so glad its only 10%"
    and one week later it'll be..
    "dammit, its 60%"
    -same content. just pre-empt.

    renew. || 1:23 AM

  • in moderation
  • Thursday, November 12, 2009
    i shall for now,
    protect -

    我心尚未崩坏的地方。

    renew. || 12:33 AM

  • yuhui et al.,
  • Wednesday, November 11, 2009
    (:

    thank you.
    finally.
    it feels good to feel good.
    thank you.
    so much work done for so much marks.

    before the day ends.

    renew. || 11:53 PM

  • emotyadhtribyppah
  • it seems like today was for me instead.
    i didnt know.
    im sorry that you waited.

    no wonder, today felt different.

    thankyou for my 'drumstick' replacement & my two red eggs (:

    renew. || 9:28 PM

  • oneoneoneone
  • i went back to look for last year's entry. which included last last year's entry.
    i didnt feel what i felt the year before, nor feel what i felt last year.
    im feeling a total new feeling, because everything's different.
    but somehow, something telling me its the same.

    and this time, i continue to wish for you.

    2007:

    just wanna say thanks.
    for the peace & calmness, that sometimes you will bring about.

    2008:

    this year,i just wanna say thanks.
    for the smile, that sometimes you will bring about.
    though its only once in a while,which makes it that valuable.

    2009:

    i want to say thanks for your absence so that i can leave easier.
    i've learnt, with and without you.

    *

    and this year, i found out a new meaning to this day:

    "光棍节是一种流传于中国大陆年轻人的娱乐性节目,以庆祝自己仍是单身一族为傲(光棍- 的意思便是 - 单身)
    一般男的光棍被称为「光光」,女的则称为「明明」,而成了对的就叫做 「双双」。"

    (she'll be happy to celebrate)


    renew. || 12:18 AM

  • BLACK.
  • a bit more, and i think i will start complaining about SINGTEL.
    i'll either call them until they get sick or what.
    i dont know. rah.
    cant they make things easier and more comprehensible?

    its last week.
    thirteen.
    thirteenththefriday.

    renew. || 12:04 AM

  • the keeper.
  • Saturday, November 07, 2009
    i dont know if it was cause i learnt to treasure my chances and times at the theatres,
    but the recent ones were good.
    perhaps, it cause it's hard to even make it to the theatres now
    not like before.
    heavy hearted nonetheless, but still enough to keep me glued.
    i had a few people in mind, or rather, their names penetrated the mind
    and i cant wash them away,
    so i let them stay.
    it wont help i know, but i cant help holding them.
    the worries and sadness accumulated,
    no, wasnt getting emoshit but was just feel a little heavyhearted cos i thought of some people.
    people whom i encountered along the way,
    people who came by and stopped and left,
    people who turned to me and i wish i could help.
    and also, people who are there but i dont know when they wont be anymore.

    i treasured you,
    but you left anyway.
    i was the keeper,
    but im now letting it go.

    i wanna try doing it alone,
    though i somehow feel i cant really.

    renew. || 12:47 AM

  • adopting the foreign identity.
  • Friday, November 06, 2009
    i know what im afraid of.
    that day.
    i know what im afraid of exactly.
    maybe not afraid but something like fear
    i can so imagine it coming true that i dont feel like facing it.
    its not overwhelming; its actually quite light.
    but light is not exactly non intrusive,
    it taps lightly; making light sounds,
    making light intrusion --
    until the point that its actually quite heavy.

    ahh im tired.
    but im still quite afraid.
    and this time, i have one more to be afraid of.
    my instinct tells me that my fear is not unfounded.
    that im in for a disappointment if i start expecting.

    renew. || 12:13 AM

  • for all the times you stuck by me.
  • Thursday, November 05, 2009
    things are NOT going on well.

    people are facing problems.

    why is it that we are feeling more inadequate as the years go by,

    and that we are finding it increasingly harder to cope.

    shouldnt ease meets age and expertise?

    somehow, thats not the case.

    is it me or is it that this semester seems to be harder.

    or do i ask the same question every time it comes to this time of the semester.

    on a lighter note, something im grateful & thankful for -

    i have people around to keep me sane and focused.



    renew. || 2:00 AM

  • for my own reference.
  • Wednesday, November 04, 2009
    Tom: People don't realize this, but loneliness is underrated.

    Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
    Summer: You believe in that?
    Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

    Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch.

    This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie 'The Graduate'. The girl, Summer Finn of Shinnecock, Michigan, did not share this belief. Since the disintegration of her parent's marriage she'd only love two things. The first was her long dark hair. The second was how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing. Tom meets Summer on January 8th. He knows almost immediately she is who he has been searching for. This is a story of boy meets girl, but you should know upfront, this is not a love story.

    renew. || 2:17 AM

  • reel it in.
  • amalfi
    135mins. not the chair gripping kind of thriller.
    not the breathtaking kind of action.
    but the story unfolds nicely,
    to reveal the answer that we all wonder within.
    the shots were breathtaking,
    the places were amazing.
    but halfway through the show i felt coldhearted,
    towards mankind.
    getting betrayed by the one nearest to you, simply is heartbreaking.
    but we're always ready to forgive.
    "time to say goodbye"

    (500)days of summer
    simple but brings you on a up and down ride.
    throws you about as though you are bobbing in sea.
    that empty, that helpless.
    tom meets summer, and when summer is over, autumn winter and spring comes knocking.
    she says its quirky.
    i cant find the word for it.
    many ironies lie within the entired 95mins.
    simple yet heavy, deep yet simple.
    we knew where it was going
    but we harboured hope that things may turn out otherwise,
    thats what happens in real life too.
    though reel life always make disclaimer regarding any coincidences.
    it reminds me of you, albeit casual.

    im back on my movies line-up.
    it still is a part of me, though im still trying.

    renew. || 1:33 AM

  • letitgo.letsmoveon.
  • Tuesday, November 03, 2009
    "I dont forget people. Thats all you have to know"
    - & my heart breaks after.

    "Forgive me if you may not find me".
    "Forgive me if I dont stop looking"
    "Dont try. wont help"

    "Thats for me to decide, not you."

    *
    Some people you have to let go; because it is only right.
    I'm sorry - maybe one day you wont be able to find me anymore.
    Its not that I've forgotten you, its not that you are not good anymore.
    Its just that, you remind me of what i dont want to be
    & bring me to the place in my heart that i dont want to visit anymore.
    Fragility is not what i can take anymore.

    I'll return when I'm ready to.

    renew. || 1:55 AM

  • 我已下最后通牒
  • Sunday, November 01, 2009
    i'm sorry.

    i dont know what else to say,
    but i feel sorry.
    sorry that you may have to go through it
    that im adding on to it.

    it was necessary.

    though it shall be the last.

    我不想再为你掉泪
    我了解 不会变 不再徘徊
    开始自己的明天
    我已下最后通牒
    我躲在我的世界。

    sometimes i wonder, am i the one trapping myself
    instead of thinking its you.
    because i realised, at times,
    i dont let myself go,
    after i let you go.

    renew. || 1:48 AM

  • :( WATCHINGFROMAFAR
  • Saturday, October 31, 2009

    IKNOWITSHALLOWEEN!
    BUTWHYNOBODYSAVESTHEHOUSEBEHIND?!
    THOUGHITHASAMENACINGLOOKTHATSAYSDESERVESIT
    BUTSTILLITSBURNING.
    SCARECROWWHYDIDNTYOUDOANTYHINGABOUTIT!?
    :(

    renew. || 2:31 AM

  • you had me at hallo.

  • happy halloweeen.

    renew. || 1:00 AM

  • unintentional
  • i didnt mean for it to be this way.
    i really didnt mean to.

    imsorry,ifthatwasthecase.

    renew. || 12:29 AM

  • long awaited anticipation
  • Friday, October 30, 2009


    powerpuff girls emerged.
    somehow, have a same tinge of similarity.
    is it the "if together very long will start to look alike effect"?!?!

    renew. || 12:15 AM

  • we both have atas friends
  • Thursday, October 29, 2009
    we both used someone else as a shield when we ask the same question at a different time -
    the same somene else.
    to prevent misunderstanding i suppose.
    i wasnt expecting anything else,
    but it just struck me the sad similarity.

    i wasnt even hoping.
    i wouldnt dare to bet that it'd materialise anyway.

    coming from you,
    words seems to be just words
    and it seems like we are each from different world,
    trying to converge on the same spot,
    or not.

    renew. || 2:24 AM

  • enveloping change.

  • we shall see,
    as the answer unfolds tomorrow.
    (i realised i had similar styles here and there)

    renew. || 1:25 AM

  • i sing my own musical note
  • Wednesday, October 28, 2009
    on a pissing note:
    d, dont always make me feel that coming online is my biggest mistake.
    rah.
    because of you. RAH.

    anyway, on a lighter note:
    FEDEX mission accomplished. "WE LIVE TO DELIVER" :) hope it was a good surprise.

    on a random interesting note:
    Dr. MW wondered why we three are always together. potato labelled us the powerpuffgirls. and even our ideas are similar that they somehow transferred through osmosis. what a way to say but yes, its only the three of us. my mom say we hang out too much that our grades assimilate. haha. and yy proclaimed "huh three of you" when she heard of us going to cut hair on thurs (just happened that that's the only time free & available)

    on a sleepy note:
    i know my body needs to sleep. but i aint allowing it to rest properly. not that i dont like it. just that, im afraid of sleeping cos of the nightmares that come knocking. but we all are that tired, crushing beneath what we can handle.

    on a future note:
    i dont know if you'd remember that day. and even if you do, you may not bother. i dont know if i dare to hope. i havent decide if i want to hope. so that perhaps its easier for me if you fail.

    renew. || 1:03 AM

  • watch it fly away
  • Tuesday, October 27, 2009
    if we hold on long enough.
    dont let it fade or fly away.


    renew. || 2:16 AM

  • contradictions with myself
  • Monday, October 26, 2009

    on the ground, it seems too far for me to reach to.
    in the sky, im afraid of falling as well.

    renew. || 3:32 PM

  • nolstagia
  • i just realised today that,
    your existence is a mere absence.

    though,
    i didnt erase you.

    renew. || 12:32 AM

  • roadblock
  • Sunday, October 25, 2009
    没有选择的我绕道驰骋
    ---

    detour is necessary.

    renew. || 4:21 AM

  • honesty is the best policy
  • before you can be honest to others,
    you must be honest to yourself.
    if not how are you gonna convince others,
    without first convincing yourself.

    我们没有必要骗自己。

    renew. || 3:30 AM

  • if i count to three
  • Saturday, October 24, 2009
    it used to seem so easy,
    to just drop a message,
    but it seems so hard now.

    part of the reason why i missed the USA trip
    was cause of you.
    because i kept you in thoughts,
    and maybe it seemed like you kept me in thoughts.
    its all a speculation,
    cause we all dont know if you really did.

    but part of me wished so,
    though i hadnt said so.

    i realised, i didnt even dare to let the phone ring. back then.

    if i count to three, will you vanish?
    but, i havent even start counting..

    renew. || 2:45 AM

  • disproportionate growth.
  • Friday, October 23, 2009
    500 days of summer.
    the blue mansion.
    the sister's keeper.
    amalfi.

    dont make my list grow,
    when my time doesnt.

    renew. || 1:58 AM

  • if i were to pray and hope hard enough
  • Thursday, October 22, 2009

    (cj, i think this was what i was refering to the other time.)

    this is the worst semester till date,
    i dont know if it gonna generalise to be the worst year.
    i hope not, sincerely i hope not.
    you hear me, dont you?

    renew. || 4:03 AM

  • comm(u n i)cation
  • i used to like calls,
    with this i mean those for chats, not for information relaying.
    then i became adversive of it for a period of time.
    then i guess the effect lasted.
    i still sometimes dont like to talk over the phone,
    afraid that conversations will turn awkward,
    and that i dont know how to make it better.
    i hesistate at the moment of ringing,
    and decide whether to pick it up or not.


    i realised it all boils down to me being selective.
    to the caller and the state of mood at that point in time.

    during the conversation,
    i realise silence,
    i realise language.
    i pay attention to alot of things.
    and if i can, and if i want to,
    the conversation can last a long time.
    hours if my phone permits.

    silence can hold that long as well,
    and i never knew how silence can.
    you taught me how.
    and i knew how.
    whenever i doubt that fact, i think of you.

    back then,
    we're hanging by a line - a phone line to be precise.
    connected by that line,
    each in our own world.
    no, more of..
    you in your own world
    - and you in mine.

    renew. || 3:04 AM

  • 'ssup.
  • "wassup?"
    "humssup."

    and it cracked her up.
    haha.

    renew. || 1:10 AM

  • if you'd to believe me
  • does it matter?
    believe me when i say it does.
    so leave it as that,
    because it does matter a big deal to me.

    renew. || 12:32 AM

  • remove that spot from me.
  • it wasnt meant to be,
    i didnt want to see any of you today.
    not you and you.
    but i saw you and you.
    ugh.
    i didnt want to seriously.

    walking towards either make me feel i just want to escape.
    immediately, with different feeling.
    why did you appear so frequently recently?
    im very sure you looked up, though i refuse to look up to see.
    but im very distracted by your presence.
    ugh.
    each and every time.
    and i hate it
    but i cant do anything about it.

    same initials,
    same kind of reluctance.
    but different kind of feelings.

    renew. || 12:07 AM

  • excerpts.
  • Wednesday, October 21, 2009
    it was a not meant to be joke for me i guess.
    the very existence of that slip of paper,
    pulled me back to half a year ago.
    it was a painful memory, yet it was like a chiding one at the same time.
    i chose to avoid it, thus didnt want to have it,
    but i realised i dont mind it in the end.
    cos, essentially it was what i put my heart into at that time.
    and this was a reminder of that,
    albeit a painful one.

    presentation was less than fine i guess,
    or at least our group feels so.
    inadequate preparation?
    perhaps.
    was just exhaustion in play.
    i tried my very best.
    we tried our very best that we can muster at that point in time.

    one more tomorrow.
    two more to come.
    and we shall face the onslaught.

    and i have to fall sick at this point.
    where's the resilience,
    and potato told me that i fell sick one of the previous semester as well,
    at this period of time where my workload is the heaviest.
    simply cos she remember i used "pre-empt" in the explanation back then.
    but yes, i need rest. cant afford it now.
    but we all need a proper rest.

    credit card hooha tonight,
    no time or effort or cognitive resource to go worry about it tonight.
    another set of slides awaits us.

    i dont know how convincing this sounds anymore,
    but hang in there people!

    & just when i was about to end,
    it starts to rain.
    just when i needed you most.

    renew. || 1:04 AM

  • 天使的约定
  • Tuesday, October 20, 2009
    i want to tell you that i care,
    at the same time,
    i wish you know that without me telling.
    on the other hand,
    i dont wish to bother.

    renew. || 1:32 AM

  • a foreign land to you is a second home to me
  • Monday, October 19, 2009
    i thank you for the weekend,
    for everything that you shared.
    it wasnt easy, definitely,
    and im thankful,
    for being here with me.
    making the ramen more tasteful than it already is,
    by sharing the juicyyy story
    sharing good food,
    sharing fun times,
    allowing me to take a break admist all the nonsense.
    laughing about me being young once -duh, we all age!
    talking about future lives as though we gonna like get married tomorrow,
    and fly off the day after.
    (: but i love such times over dinner.

    then, i let you in on something that i havent told anybody
    but i guess, it wasnt as juicy as yours.
    but definitely insert some colors into my boring life now.
    (:
    but like i said, and like you said,
    i know what i want, and be overly cautious.
    but thats how we protect ourselves isnt it.
    and no, 187 didnt bang me - i told you so. haha!

    renew. || 1:26 AM

  • 活该
  • Saturday, October 17, 2009
    最近的你
    很惹人讨厌
    你知不知道
    又野蛮又霸道
    自以为是
    你知不知道

    想把一切不安转为动力
    一直努力在逃避
    似乎不去想就不会有事
    真是天真的家伙
    你真的以为这样就好?!

    把悲伤自己扛
    是你自以为是的做法
    把悲伤留给自己
    你说是保护的方法
    到底想保护谁
    或许是蠢
    但是唯一不蠢的蠢事

    封闭
    你说是唯一能做的事
    对不起。

    renew. || 1:31 AM

  • like you did before.
  • you know how affected you are
    when your favourite tutor has no effect,
    when you have no way to concentrate on what you have to do,
    you have no idea how to avoid,
    you have to constantly remind yourself that it doesnt matter.

    不想。不要。
    不要看到你。
    不想看到你。
    its a want and a need, TO NOT SEE YOU.

    please conduct your disappearing act -
    like you did before.

    renew. || 12:58 AM

  • please.
  • Thursday, October 15, 2009
    this is a hard decision.
    a hard choice to even begin with.
    bless me with the logical mind that i need,
    the rationality that i require.
    tears are to be kept out of bound.
    you are to stay safe and sound.

    renew. || 2:01 AM

  • plunging to the incorrigible state
  • Wednesday, October 14, 2009
    i feel i write like a primary school child.
    the depth of my writing is becoming unbearable to read.
    why has it come to such a stage?

    beats me.
    it wasnt good to start with.

    and i cant write like how i blog,
    cause nobody would understand.

    & i really love my player tonight. it hasnt failed tonight. keep it up. you need to stay with me.

    renew. || 11:04 PM

  • the same heart beats in the same rhythm
  • sometimes, i think my player know me well.
    'cause,
    it will play good songs when i need it
    without me requiring it.
    that is a consolation in itself.
    without having me to 'next' incessantly.

    i wish my brain will work the same way as well.
    stop routing to things which it should not land on
    and should hinge itself in focus.

    renew. || 10:45 PM

  • if you'd realise,
  • i actually mind it alot. a big deal lot of it.
    so please pardon me.

    renew. || 9:17 PM

  • all aspect ratios
  • Monday, October 12, 2009
    don't let me sink.

    in all context - him & him.

    renew. || 12:47 AM

  • 人质在这一刻得到释放
  • Sunday, October 11, 2009
    在我心上用力地开一枪
    让一切归零在这声巨响

    我不挣扎 反正我也没差

    renew. || 12:37 AM

  • the way it was supposed to be,
  • Saturday, October 10, 2009

    give me a week,
    在满一个星期之前,我们要好好加油!
    for you for me.


    if it become from a want to a need...

    renew. || 1:49 AM

  • not about the best time
  • allow me,
    for tonight,
    just for tonight.

    indulge in full weakness.

    越烂的人越会有报应
    我一定是烂透了。

    renew. || 12:01 AM

  • in case of karma..
  • Friday, October 09, 2009
    okay, not over for all.
    but over for ten am.
    dunch like the buildup.
    but the only consolation that i have for myself is that,
    ive a wonderful group.
    thankyou for the hardwork.
    its over with climate change and food for now.
    and forevevever.

    (:

    renew. || 2:02 PM

  • i want to movie movie!
  • Thursday, October 08, 2009
    im thankful for alot things today.
    the group's stressful and madness today.
    mengsy's sunflower that i can go "i will be okay" "i will be okay" for the petals.
    first and last dinner with the group.
    nice bus ride though he dont like to take bus at all.
    chilling out over icecream. orange choc bitters.
    trashed out loads and loads of shows.
    feels good. good enough for the day.
    wah make me feel like wanna go on the movie watching streak again.
    "that is if you havent catch it already"
    /接近换来期望 期望带来失望的恶性循环

    Today has to be good, all cause i know tomorrow wont be.

    renew. || 11:16 PM

  • dontwakemeup.
  • i think this is my worst october.

    1 - info term test
    3 - food meeting. IT meeting.
    6 - abnormal test.
    8 - food meeting.
    9 - food presentation. IT meeting.
    10 - IT/ab meeting.
    13 - IT presentation.
    14 - devt meeting.
    15 - IT termpaper.
    20 - ab presentation.
    21 - devt presentation.
    23 - work.
    24 - work.
    26 - devt assignment.


    if you ask me how to survive, i'd just tell you
    -shrug.

    pick my pieces up when october end.

    renew. || 12:27 AM

  • 假想敌
  • Wednesday, October 07, 2009
    笑完过后
    一阵空虚
    突然好想
    大哭一场

    亡命之徒。

    我以为 这些年 我变了
    可笑是 这些年 我没变
    变的是 那些泪 那心痛
    拼命埋 拼命埋 拼命埋


    ---
    红橙黄绿我都找不到的晴天
    从此 我们两个世界
    在灰色季节渐渐忘记你的一切
    过几年 我在原点

    彩虹出现 而我再也找不到
    美丽的蝴蝶 偏偏飞不上天
    对你的想念 再也寄不到
    你世界 地址是再见

    renew. || 9:21 PM

  • me, you, him, her, we, they, us?
  • wants to leave.

    unpleasantness and

    uncertainty loomed ahead.

    when i dont know how to handle

    i usually choose to escape

    so i close myself again,

    and im back in my own world.

    i dont ask what she feels

    i dont ask what to do

    i assume

    everything will be alright someday

    if i dont bother,

    i dont.

    it will be fine.

    ask me again,

    its cause i dont dare to probe.

    i hope the next time i hear about you,

    you are fine.

    dont make me cry.

    renew. || 12:18 AM

  • at the other end of the rope
  • Tuesday, October 06, 2009
    why did we all fall prey to unattainable happyness?
    to the inability to emerge stronger than will.
    clouded,
    by stress and mess.
    pull it back,
    pull the smile back.
    it can be worse, right?

    somehow, it seems like its just a matter of who is able to sustain this struggle of hanging on to the rope for the longest period of time, and not let go - declare surrender. its about emerging victorious due to stamina endurance and strength, rather than capability or the nature of the task itself. its true that capability makes things easier, such that calibre sets people one step ahead of others, making things seemingly more effortless. however, when the game is still on, with calibre and no tenacity, its not landslide victory. futile attempt? (& to quote her) lost cause?

    co-morbidity, salience, effect size, significance - these things crush my life, yet they make me go on at the same time.

    renew. || 1:27 AM

  • the induction process.
  • "5 years and counting"
    "i must go back to 4 years and counting.."
    "lets just leave it at 4 days"

    ... and then we parted.

    i felt so heavy hearted.
    i really felt i can just turn back and go back, then and there.
    but i couldnt.
    in real life as well.

    i swear i could have cried the moment i opened my eyes.
    but i didnt.
    as it was all in the past.

    the sadness loomed nevertheless,
    i cant get out of it.
    not for a while.

    5 years and counting,
    how are you?

    4064770968.

    renew. || 1:10 AM

  • it was much needed
  • Sunday, October 04, 2009
    "it as an achievement achieved without effort isnt an achievement at all.. so jiayou!!"

    - we can achieve! we can achieve! (: (: (:

    but it was good, a much needed 2 hours getaway.
    as much as there was some confusion along the way,
    some moments really made me smile right from heart.
    randomness along the way is me.
    i hope it didnt cause too much irritation.
    i cant change that bit, though at the same time,
    we feel i changed alot.
    lao le. zhang da le.
    yeah, you walked by me so far so long,
    no wonder we feel the years setting in.

    all along,
    i only had thank you and thank you for you.
    thank you for being here whenever i need an outlet
    directly or indirectly
    i always managed to feel better.
    im thankful for a few years back
    and im thankful for now.
    i hope its a start and no end,
    but people cant hope too much,
    so i maintain my randomness,
    in a bid that you wont forget me along the way.

    you read, so you know who you are.
    this time you'd understand,
    fully understand that,
    this is for you.

    iloveyou and imissyou,
    not in any inappropriate way,
    but in the most sincere,
    the im-so-glad-you-are-in-my-life-love and i-hope-you-are-doing-well-good-and-everything-nice-miss.
    thankyou arhtu.
    thankyou.thankyou.thankyou.

    though it isnt the 26th dec yet, this entry feels like it should belong to that day instead.
    but randomness is me (:

    renew. || 3:08 AM

  • why did you return
  • you know it can be very hard,
    but it can be better?
    i dont know why i kept missing you tonight
    but you kept creeping back into the brain
    every scene i saw i thought of you
    every car i saw i thought of you.
    MLS - sha gua wo men dou yi yang (:
    dinner was good,
    i felt okay-ly good.
    maybe not the best, but better than worst.
    maybe its the rain?
    but at the end of the day, still feel very tired.
    'seldom hear you complain sleepy' ..

    if the deadlines wont kill me, maybe the payne will.

    renew. || 12:20 AM

  • whereareyou.
  • Saturday, October 03, 2009
    too far,

    you are too far.

    there are some things that im glad for, yet at the same time i lament over some other stuffs. some things weigh more than others, while some are just insignificant. but i cant help it. many times, its cause you didnt seem bothered, or you didnt seem to bother. i washed away those thoughts thinking its you being tired of trying. then i turn around and blamed it on myself. but still, it matters to me. too far. you are too far. but why a small part of me tells me that i need that space, to get used to you all over again.

    renew. || 1:08 AM

  • goawaypayne.
  • Thursday, October 01, 2009
    dai wo zou.
    rang wo zou.
    juan le lei le ke wang yong bao.
    feng le.

    i need my happy food.
    i need my happy food.
    i need my happy food.

    renew. || 12:03 AM

  • its not that painful if we say so
  • Wednesday, September 30, 2009
    its the first week.
    i dont know if im taking it well,
    but tomorrow is the start of it all.
    the opening of flood gate,
    and you cant say stop.

    back to back discussions and project meeting
    from 1-4 then 4-8.
    basically drained out every part of me.

    but studying with them was fun.
    gossip session breaks daily.
    and alot of eye candies today.
    im sure people its where we're sitting.
    such high traffic place of course will see lah.

    i'll take a week by a week.
    by 3/4 weeks time,
    we'll see where we'll be.
    move on.
    people, press on.

    - soc quiz
    - devt presentation (proj)
    - info test
    - abnormal mcq test
    - food presentation
    - info presentation
    - info termpaper
    - abnormal presentation
    - devt presentation (article)

    renew. || 12:27 AM

  • CANYOUFEELMYHAPPYNESS?
  • Tuesday, September 29, 2009

    ITS GONNA RAIN TONIGHT

    IM CAN SMELL THE RAIN

    FEEL THE WIND

    I CAN FEEL MY BONES TINKLING

    WITH HAPPYNESS

    WHEEEE!

    WOOOOHOOOO~

    THE SKY'S RED

    THE WIND IS SWIRLING ALL AROUND ME

    ITS GONNA RAIN TONIGHT

    ITS GONNA RAIN TONIGHT

    ITS GONNA RAIN TONIGHT

    (: (: (:

    ---

    OHH OHH!

    IT RAINED!

    I STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND LET THE WATER SPRAY

    BREATHING IN THE COOL FRESH AIR

    FEELING WOOHOO-LY HAPPY

    HEAR THE RAIN, SEE THE RAIN

    THAT'S RAIN FOR ME (:

    renew. || 1:55 AM

  • the heart yearns too much
  • Monday, September 28, 2009
    i badly wish for rain now
    for rain now i badly wish
    i wish for rain badly now
    rain now i badly wish for
    badly i wish for rain now
    now badly i wish for rain
    wish rain for now i badly
    rain wish badly i now for
    wish badly for rain now i
    now for rain i wish badly


    you get my idea?

    maybe i can cry?
    so that it starts raining?
    at least in my heart it does rain?

    renew. || 2:00 AM

  • rambling doesnt just stop here.
  • good and bad all in a day.

    rushed to meet vel to get something from her, didnt manage to say much then have to rush off.
    then rushed to meet the girls before realising all of them will late.
    then lunch at il piccolo clementi. finally.
    somehow wasnt up to my standard, i dont know is it that i forgot the taste already.
    some random phototaking capturing all the unglamness. before parting for individual stuffs.
    then shopped a bit at the pasar malam in the area.
    chee got her phone back casing.
    i couldnt find mine.
    BIGGEST MISTAKE.
    cos the phone landed for the 3rd time on the bus journey back to school.
    i tried to cushion the fall - to no avail.
    injury sustained yet again.
    super hot weather that got me very restless.
    concentration level at all time low.
    progress was usual slow.
    dinner and f1 vrooming.
    crashes and alot of excitement there.
    then tried to discuss the project with yh but cant come to any logical answer,
    so the end.

    but the weather really very hot.
    GOT NEED SO HOT NOT.
    RAWR.

    and the fight is just about to begin.
    push on, people! push on.
    try convincing myself first.

    renew. || 12:15 AM

  • the warm afternoon and a bout of sniffing.
  • Sunday, September 27, 2009
    一个想起他会笑的我
    说起他的故事
    在别人耳里听起来
    竟然是是心酸。

    是说故事人
    还是听故事人?



    ---

    《不屑》

    事情如果那麽簡單那就好了
    想讓自己不見
    瞬間就統統消滅
    人類如果沒有心臟那就好了
    受傷不會流血
    悲傷也不會流淚


    不需要有同類
    傳染頹廢
    不需要愚昧的尊嚴
    不需要去偷竊你的思念
    自我安慰


    就讓我僞裝
    我嘴角不屑
    讓孤獨乘以更孤獨的兩倍
    允許我保留我最後一點點特權
    赦免我想念你的心碎

    如果我眼神裏閃爍不屑
    可能我心裏一半已經殘廢
    那一半跟著你走遠了的那一天
    這一半漸漸已瓦解


    如果我還有一點點不屑
    别想要說服我純潔的絕對
    我只是世界上物種絕種的絕類
    悄悄的失眠了一光年

    如果我還有一點點不屑
    那是我自己虛榮心在作祟
    自以爲或許有一天我們會重疊
    我可以再愛你第二遍

    renew. || 3:43 AM

  • final destination : floor.
  • Saturday, September 26, 2009
    sad. sad. sad.
    mourning.
    for phone.
    second time.

    can this be the last time, pwetty prease?

    renew. || 3:10 PM

  • drawing that line.
  • one of the newbies said today,
    why is she forever so happy like no sadness like that,
    that she can still smile when she's sad.

    can things be segregrated (or rather be that merged) ?
    i'm slowly losing touch.
    of things,
    of emotions.

    and mastering the ability of voiding.

    除此之外 我要你明白,
    放不下你 是我活该。

    renew. || 3:05 AM

  • ifyouaremissed, thenwhydiditry
  • 为什么那么不安
    有一种莫名的感觉
    似乎什么是要发生似的

    把自己困在被遗忘的角落。

    on a side note, timetraveller'swife is good.
    the kind that leaves you with a tinge of i-dont-wish-for-it-to-end-this-fast
    the story buildup,
    the pretty and hot cast helped.
    but it was good if you were to ask me
    again and again, the same answer it would be.
    but such stories throw you into a off-reality dream,
    where things arent that way sometimes.
    people dont wait patiently,
    people dont hang on unrelentessly.
    but, people do just disappear like that,
    they do.

    and if you were to ask me, you disappoint.
    i hope it wont turn my life upside down again.

    renew. || 12:01 AM

  • 22nd loves.
  • Wednesday, September 23, 2009
    on the 22nd night here, and 22nd day there.

    qiuh. says (2:47 AM):
    WHEE MINDYTUAn
    U ARE V MUCH LOVED BY SINGAPORE DPNS

    supermin : idea says (2:49 AM):
    HAHAHA mindytuan is happy to know that! mindytuan loves the singapore dpns very much too! mindytuan also wonders why there is a need to call the singapore dpns singapre dpns, because she is part of the singapore dpns but back then it was never called the singapore dpns
    rofl


    haha, simply..
    'COS YOU ARE A CANADIAN DPN NOW! GRINN.
    but still very much loved.

    renew. || 2:51 AM

  • retributingeffect
  • Tuesday, September 22, 2009
    staring at the word 'supply' for too long will make that word seem foreign.

    looks strange.
    feels weird.

    does degeneration work that way.
    does dissatisfaction work that way too?

    why does it not seem to work in anyway
    to achieve any form of satisfaction
    however i look at it.

    "slack leh you"
    "why you never do over the weekend"
    "ok la cut you some slack"

    renew. || 2:40 AM

  • singlemeout.
  • Monday, September 21, 2009
    .iqubiud

    i dont know to who.

    renew. || 11:52 PM

  • 中场休息
  • i love you,
    i dont know how
    i dont know why
    i dont know when
    i dont know where

    where do we go from here.

    we shall just move on.

    renew. || 1:30 AM

  • oleoleole.
  • Sunday, September 20, 2009
    days are becoming harder to get by
    hang in there.
    snorts.
    i-g-n-o-r-e

    -makes stupid face-

    renew. || 1:33 AM

  • im..
  • Friday, September 18, 2009
    given a night to mourn.

    thankyouchanmengsy.
    YOU are talkingcockqueen.

    butistillloveyou.

    renew. || 1:48 AM

  • they say it can feel.
  • Thursday, September 17, 2009
    THIS IS AN OUTCRY.
    I FREAKING DROPPED MY PHONE.
    BARELY ONE WEEK OLD!
    I TRIED MY BEST TO TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF IT.
    BUT IT FELL FROM CHEST LEVEL WHEN I REACHED INTO MY BAG TO TAKE SOMETHING WHILE WALKING.
    IT DROPPED FROM ITS CASING, COS THE OPENING WAS FACING DOWNWARDS.
    IM SAD.
    OKAY IM MORE THAN SAD.
    BUT YEAH, IM DEPRESSED.
    COS I CANT GAUGE IS IT SLOWER THAN BEFORE
    OR DID THE FALL CAUSE IT TO LAG.
    AHH AT LEAST THERE'S NO SCRATCH.
    BUT A DEEP THIN SCRATCH SLICED ACROSS MY HEART
    AS I LOOK DOWN TO SEE THE BACK COVER FALL OUT FROM THE PHONE
    AND THE PHONE LANDED FACE FLAT
    AHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT.
    DEAR PHONE,
    IM SORRY.
    PLEASE DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME.
    OKAY?

    IMSADIMSADIMSAD.
    IMMORETHANSAD.

    and the funniest thing is that we had a discussion this afternoon about dropping phone
    and in which manner willl it dropped
    im sorry phone,
    it was all hypothetical.

    renew. || 11:44 PM

  • can i cheer for the fact
  • in fact,


    i dont miss you anymore.


    goodjob tanhuiqi.
    keep up the good work.



    meanwhile, the girls keep me going.
    and yes, for that 2nd fact, MINDYTUAN YOU ARE SORELY MISSED.
    (the next moment..) and because you insist so, OKAY YOU ARE NOT. GRINNS. (:


    renew. || 2:50 AM

  • palcipitations
  • Tuesday, September 15, 2009
    it evoked too much discomfort in me,
    so much so that i could feel the memory of the whole event surging back.
    reading those words put me at a point of discomfort
    so much so that i was trying to force them all away
    but i could feel tears welling up.
    cos its a terrible feeling,
    to forcefully evoke that horrible feeling in people.
    not the best form of therapy, definitely not in my case.
    my hands trembled, my heartbeat raced,
    and i dont ever wanna go through it again.
    if that's a fear, then so be it.

    i choked. cos i couldnt bear to recollect.
    it was painful.
    stashed somewhere far far back,
    but it had to be dug up again,
    cos i wanted to know an answer.

    renew. || 11:55 PM

  • sure we'd know what we want
  • Sunday, September 13, 2009
    i'm taking a break.

    but am i taking a break from work
    or am i taking a break from leisure?

    what is it exactly?


    anyway, i finally got rid of my previous hardy n6500s which went through thick and thin with me, and suffered severe damage to its body, but still managed to survive. strong and brave soul there. the lady ask me "did you drop it from a very high height?" i guess, its time to say byebye. nevertheless, it served me well. thank you. though the short battery life at the end months of its two years usually put me at an uncontactable position which cause a little trouble and inconvenience, but it provided a breakaway some nights as well. the silence was much appreciated at times.

    two years. been too long ago. going through the things inside, i realised this phone been around too long. got it before i went USA. and here now im back in Singapore. it had since been filled with memories - both good and bad ones. the messages, i didnt want to read through. "keep it here" -points to the heart. maybe without its presence will allow me to handle your absence better too as well. my 20, 21, 22.

    hi, n5530. you are my new love.
    welcome to my life,
    please dont give up on me at any point in time.

    renew. || 11:27 PM

  • ... you are.
  • Thursday, September 10, 2009
    it wasnt supposed to be like that.
    it was supposed to be good.
    im sorry.

    i was so tired at the end of the day,
    trying to fight those negativity,
    that i couldnt hang on anymore.

    and so i write and write
    write and write
    and write
    not doing any constructive readings tonight
    and just gave myself a break.

    not a generalising thought,
    but nothing went smoothly.
    i wanted to give her a nice show,
    but the show couldnt be provided for her.

    i wanted to talk to her,
    but she didnt talk much today.

    stitch messaged to say he saw me on the escalator
    shocked
    then surprised
    then tired once again.

    at least, thankfully i had the dinner.
    the only happy thing which happened today was dinner.
    standing at the bus interchange dont know to part or not
    kinds of make parting harder.

    other than that, i couldnt find a reason to smile.

    dont haunt me anymore.
    guilt. please leave.
    i dont want to feel the payne coming back
    i can feel its resurgence.

    whats on my mind
    ... you are.

    除此之外 - arhtu, imy.

    renew. || 2:17 AM

  • it still wasnt sweetdreams afterall
  • i dreamt of you

    ijustrememberedthatidreamtofyou.

    and i wanted to finish that dream
    to see the ending
    before i woke up
    to realise it was too late.

    it was the end indeed.

    renew. || 12:01 AM

  • 我的快乐会回来的
  • Wednesday, September 09, 2009
    090909

    (:

    let's keep smiling.

    if everyday's a happy day, hope today will be a happier day.

    (: (: (:

    jiayou.

    renew. || 11:21 PM

  • and i start crying
  • Monday, September 07, 2009
    Name: krise
    Date: 9/7/2009
    Colorgenics Number: 05217364

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.

    You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

    Circumstances are holding you back, forcing you to back off and to forgo all the pleasures, fun and games for the time being. But this is only a temporary situation and before you even know it the situation could change.

    You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

    You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

    renew. || 11:46 PM

  • whereartthou?
  • @rockie.. love you ok.. your love is on his way.. he’s just damn late.. must
    teach him to be punctual..



    THANKYOUTANLITING.

    renew. || 11:14 PM

  • rants came true
  • thank you.
    for my effort come true.
    worked my mind butt and everything else off.
    i dont know how long this can last.
    im just pushing on.
    thanks for the long call last night.
    thanks for the company that you provide.
    thanks for all the love that i can transcribe.
    if i can write endlessly, i would write endlessly.
    itsveryhard - to not stop.
    i dont want to do alot of things.
    i want to do alot of things.
    i need alot of things.
    i need you.

    renew. || 3:02 AM

  • the 12 hours difference, how many miles apart
  • Saturday, September 05, 2009
    idea says (10:19 PM):
    greetings from toronto!
    HAHA


    `iqiuh. says (10:19 PM):
    greetings from SINGAPORE

    idea says (10:19 PM):
    rofl
    singapore very liao bu qi ah must put caps
    HAHA




    SINGAPORE of cos very liao bu qi la! haha cos is full of great lovingyous and plenty of missingyous (:

    TORONTOBLISS, miss ya! (:

    renew. || 10:24 PM

  • different someone on the same dichotomy
  • yan juan de shi xi guan er bu shi ni de ren suo yi bie dan xin
    xiang nian de shi xi guan er bu shi ni de ren suo yi bie dan xin

    renew. || 3:32 AM

  • 依恋 - 就让它偷偷地想念
  • 因为太了解所以很伤心

    dont have la. dont have emo.

    虽然也不是发自内心地笑

    was just being the entertainer.

    不能满足自己 至少能填补别人的空虚

    i just wanna return you your 10mins

    但多一秒你似乎都嫌多余

    it rained when i woke up and it started to rain when im about to sleep

    都说了我不明白为何会那么喜欢下雨

    how can i not love the rain. you tell me how.

    how can i not love you.

    renew. || 2:16 AM

  • 612 planet
  • Friday, September 04, 2009
    go there then wont have all these rubbish already?
    then everything wil be pretty.

    i never felt so discouraged with a paper before. (ok that's an exaggeration). okay, maybe apart from the i-felt-it-was-great-film-and-history essay last sem, this comes close to causing much dejection in me. i havent felt that courage in me if i didnt put in that much effort into thinking and whatsmore its something vital i think cos she herself mentioned it in class. not trying much to selfpraise here, but maybe just trying to get a bit of justice to my work, though i only have myself to blame for my warped expression and command of language which caused my downfall since younger days. sigh. things havent been smooth. i thought it will kick start pretty. i thought.
    *note to self: qii, thoughts are detrimental.

    as for this year, i dont dare to expect too much. expecting grades and all. i dont dare to expect that i will fare in the most amazing manner, but i do try my best. apart from the constant skipping of IT lect (but i make up for it with the webcasts), trying to grasp the ideas, the theories, the contradictions and even going to love the subject and taking the step to know more about it - especially for linguistic stuff. i irk that stuff to the core. hate it with a passion. i totally cant get it. just like how men just dont get it (haha a side point). but the point is, if i have 5 lovers this semester, im just trying to love all the 5 of them to the very much i can give for each. the attention and the love, and even the willingness to try each one out to see which one will make it. but at the end of it all, i'll have to leave all 5 of them when the time is up. that's learning. and the best part of learning is the irony that we dont learn.

    okay, as of now, i have 5 lovers.

    ABNORMAL, DEVELOPMENTAL, SOCIAL, FOOD, and IT i love you(all).
    i hope nobody finds out about about my infidelity and decide to leave me.

    loveyoudeepdeep!
    qii.

    renew. || 3:33 AM

  • converging similarities
  • Wednesday, September 02, 2009
    橘子 - 《你的爱情我在对面》
    九把刀 - 《等一个人咖啡》
    敷米浆 - 《如果没有那场雨》

    这三本书,我借了又借。
    只为了好好地读。
    很喜欢很喜欢。

    因为很美很痛很潇洒
    三本都是。
    同样的美 同样的痛 同样的潇洒

    同样都是我没有的。

    renew. || 3:22 AM

  • 你的世界我在哪?
  • "wannareturnyouyour10minutes"
    "return it!"

    i wish it can be done that easily.

    renew. || 1:35 AM

  • wake me up. dont.
  • Tuesday, September 01, 2009
    august ended

    felt like it was so so long.
    the whole of august felt like it had more than 31 days.
    not that im complaining.
    but days were slow.
    it passed longer than expected.
    yet tiring.

    september's in to kill.

    to drain.
    to suck.
    to simply wipe out the population again.

    wait till you see october's might.

    renew. || 1:02 AM

  • blues. bruise.
  • Monday, August 31, 2009
    "找回你遗失的微笑"
    she said her heart ached.
    i sincerely wish that wont happen.

    how can a heart ache a thousand times over
    and still not get used to aching
    and the intensity is as painful ever.
    each time we think its over, it never get healed.
    perhaps that's why we never recover.

    hear the heart ache.

    but, beautiful things happen too,
    but we have to see them to know their beauty

    beautiful things happened today.


    renew. || 12:29 AM

  • 美丽人生
  • Saturday, August 29, 2009
    起跑点

    也是终点

    不 准 哭。

    当泪洒完时我们可以开始跑了

    renew. || 1:22 AM

  • abort the fats
  • Thursday, August 27, 2009
    new plan:

    run.

    for december.
    for myself.
    and a long time wish.

    renew. || 2:19 AM

  • [ orh ): ]
  • Wednesday, August 26, 2009
    its not a better day.
    ):

    causenobody'shappy.

    renew. || 2:35 AM

  • just for the moment i call mine.
  • Tuesday, August 25, 2009
    i waited for what seemed to be an eternity.
    and it came finally.
    i was simply waiting for the rain to fall.
    addiction.
    just wanted to hear the sound of the rain.

    she told me his msn pm is
    "wake me up when semester ends"
    so true so true.
    this semester seemed to have a different feel.
    getting burned out by 2nd week.
    late nights to rush work on 2nd week.
    no more the "its only 2nd week la" notion.
    despite the less schooldays,
    the heightened workload thrown us off balance.
    but still very much trying to balance.
    let's hang on. another 11 more weeks.
    before the semester ends.

    wake up. wake up.

    renew. || 3:10 AM

  • tis the season to be falling
  • Monday, August 24, 2009
    it rained so hard last night,
    and it rained as hard this afternoon.
    as though it never stopped raining.
    but they are very different types of rain.

    - rain cluttered with flashes and roars
    vs.
    - rain roared on its own with the intensity it comes pouring.

    kiambongkia/2amalarmclock pei-ed me studied the rain last night.
    like i told him i wondered was i a rainbaby. one who has affinity with the rain
    or was i not a rainbaby who grew to love rain to make up for the loss of it.
    or maybe simply, like he said, "you just like rain".
    si pei-ed me studied with the rain this afternoon.
    the horrible journal articles got damped.
    (condemned. so hard!)

    i still love the pitter patter. cause no one else can hear your heartbreak.
    “ I love walking in the rain, ‘cause then no-one knows I’m crying.
    — Unknown

    renew. || 12:40 AM

  • causeibelieve
  • Sunday, August 23, 2009
    you'rebyfarmybiggestdistraction.

    anditrainedincessantly.finally.
    complete with lightning and thunder.
    brings away the badweather.

    renew. || 1:33 AM

  • minimal dosage
  • Monday, August 17, 2009






    he's not the antidote.

    but he brings a smile nevertheless (at times when he's not so naughty).

    renew. || 1:05 AM

  • ifoundsolaceintheroundheaded
  • Saturday, August 15, 2009
    nonnetta's (sometimesineedtofeelvulnerable) work.

    It was like we were part of two different worlds.
    I was lost in mine and honestly I don't know where you were or what you were thinking.
    I don't really know if I was the only one so far away.
    I only know that nothing could touch me.
    I could see echoes of the world that were silently falling on my skin.
    But they didn't make enough noise to wake me from my dream.



    There once was a puppet who didn't want to be sad. So he made a decision. He made a plan. The plan was to get rid of everything that made him sad..

    - The boy who didn't want to be sad - Rob Goldblatt


    -- ~ --
    isaidtoomuch
    andiduguptoomuch
    thiswasthereasonwhyiwasafraidbackthen
    exposure
    subjecttopossibilityofdrainage
    youarebetteroffforgotten
    ihaventlearnthow.



    i love the way the shadows fall onto the pavement and how i try hard to balance my shadow.
    [the shadow was dark]
    [ balance the shadow ]

    renew. || 1:53 AM

  • imafraidicanthandle
  • Friday, August 14, 2009
    if i ask,
    would you say?

    renew. || 2:24 AM

  • everyoneelsebelowu..
  • u know, i was thinking of u
    then ur msg came
    i was so shocked cos minutes ago i was still thinking abt u
    but how i wish u can be a better friend
    dont drop the line den tempt the rabbit
    then after that dont allow the rabbit to eat
    sniff it then have to make do with the smell
    i wish i dont know u so much
    yet im glad i do
    but dont throw one word liner and expect me to understand
    dont push me to my edge
    more importantly, dont push me over my edge
    u..
    of course u wouldnt know..

    renew. || 2:12 AM

  • onyourmark...
  • Wednesday, August 12, 2009
    its not a fantastic start,
    but it was alright.
    classes were okay,
    but it could be better.
    lets just keep going.
    things doesnt seem too bright,
    the rain shall continue..
    for a while more i guess.

    sunnydays will come.

    renew. || 1:28 AM

  • 如果没有那场雨
  • 可以遗忘是幸福的,被遗忘则是最痛苦的。
    dont forget us.

    how did you forget me.

    renew. || 12:21 AM

  • 放任你追逐
  • Tuesday, August 11, 2009
    其实我懂
    我想我懂
    我应该懂
    虽然没说
    如果难过
    不要想我
    祝你幸福

    renew. || 12:53 AM

  • this is my mummy
  • Sunday, August 09, 2009
    happy birthday to you

    whoa, you're even older than one people one nation one singapore

    but, still

    i love you.

    - ~ -
    and i would still love to watch fireworks.


    renew. || 1:59 AM

  • the round moon had the star
  • Friday, August 07, 2009
    today was a fantabulously-awesome day.
    mac breakfast cos of early morning shift.
    slack through the event cause we aint able to do much.
    UP with the the chiongsters.
    was duper good la.
    then was nonsensical laughing after that.
    then was chinatown supposedly singing
    but changed to settlers gaming at central branch.
    super funny saboteur, and super sabo first hand, and super violent jungle speed.
    then ended off nicely with an awesome ride from alvin on his bike home.
    woots!
    i love how we cut the wind, and im beginning to love the speed.
    thankyous.

    to be able to laugh out from within, i didnt feel the pretence for the moment.
    though tears came by to make appearance, but it felt neglected and left shortly after.
    the smile lingered.

    the round moon had a star for accompaniment. but she has the whole sky too.
    (:

    hy: yupyup, i did enjoyed it and was thankful having the rest of the world to myself (: lonely cos i'm missing ppl ): smiling smiling~

    renew. || 11:45 PM

  • 我想我能熬
  • Thursday, August 06, 2009
    还在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎么熬 这么多年 早就喜欢 有你的撒娇 我想我能熬 但是至少要让我知道 你好不好
    我在搞笑 借着热闹 掩盖着心跳 边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好 当人群散了 突然觉得我可以死掉 我受不了
    我在搞笑 却在最后 眼泪拼命飙 你的离开 失去多少 我计算不了 忙完了一天 突然觉得又何必辛劳 对谁炫耀


    the long long walk home was nice and quiet.
    i like, albeit a little lonely.

    renew. || 11:46 PM

  • alikeyetnot
  • thank u for being there everynight,
    not getting bored by talking everynight
    for being my 2 a.m. alarm clock
    although i once had a 12am alarm clock
    watching over to make sure im okay on the table
    u listened most of the times
    but i dont wish to open up too much
    too much that u wont be able to handle
    that,
    like many others give up.


    u once said that u dun treat close friends well.
    i hope..

    renew. || 2:54 AM

  • we wish you a merry xmas
  • Wednesday, August 05, 2009
    mingsi was singing the club song. THE CLUB SONG. the right words at the moment - 宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱. that very much sums up the club vision. then taking hold of qiying's cap and super happy with it. makes me happy. maybe cos it was colourful.

    staring at the big big screen, i realised i'm very tired. but silently happy with the vocals condition that day. maybe it was the tiredness which blurred everything else. well, it was night k-session afterall.

    renew. || 3:56 AM

  • 我不是你想像那么勇敢
  • Tuesday, August 04, 2009
    i was randomly saying that "wah if one day i find someone who can make me stop singing ahh..."
    they rebutted almost immediately "then he cannot lar!" or something along "your president (of NUSSU) will never agree".. then they continued with all the possibilities that even though he may be uber rich or drives my dream car or wat wat..
    then i was silent.

    to some extent true, it will be very scary for me to turn from a walking jukebox (a spoilt one at times) to someone who doesnt sing anymore.
    but on the other hand, if someone is able to make me give up something which is so innate, its goes to show something isnt it?

    i wonder when will be the day this jukebox runs out of battery.
    okay, this jukebox can get a bit irritating at times, when you want silence she may not be able to provide sufficient silence, because of the faulty parts, she doesnt know that its playing.
    but ...
    no buts.

    when will be the day the jukebox's battery run flat..?

    renew. || 1:11 AM

  • the case of the suspect Y
  • Saturday, August 01, 2009
    the police and the lawyer escorted her along the way to the crime scene,

    she needs her help line

    finally solved

    as she found the place,

    her spongebob birthdaycake

    under the super scorching hot sun

    the picnic under the sun

    the happy CHEW POTATO

    who has a sexy bareback hehehe

    the swans formed a nice 22

    the angmoh f4

    slacking under the sun

    jump

    jump

    tired

    angry CID

    randomness rocks the day

    thank you all for the day, finally case closed. (:


    renew. || 2:31 AM

  • iwantnobodynobodybutchuu!
  • Thursday, July 30, 2009
    to my dearest 经纪人-dont-wanna-be,




    i'm sure you have a fair share of laughters admist all the tough work of taking care of me. thank you for the great job you have done, (hehe) although u dont really want the job. i guess you have to be stucked with the job for a while! :P

    anyway, on this off day of yours, i hope you have had a splendid time under the sun, playing with nonsesnse and purely just lazing around.

    happy happy birthday to you! and i do love you alot alot alot! (:
    & thou very happy to have you in my life (: (: (:

    loves ❤,
    qii

    renew. || 12:32 AM

  • there'sareasonwhywearentthere
  • Tuesday, July 28, 2009
    precisely cos we are not business students
    thus we have no affinity with numbers,
    but semester after semester,
    we are throwin into the turbulent sea
    and learn how to swim.
    although we managed to float ashore somehow,
    why are we thrown into it again and again?

    ahh dont like la.

    renew. || 2:06 PM

  • 可以很自私吗
  • Monday, July 27, 2009
    明明知道是傻瓜
    在这世上最清楚的人
    给我出这么难的题要我怎么办




    真的一意地想要留在身边就行吗
    误以为是空气的风

    renew. || 1:23 AM

  • 少了一点快乐
  • Sunday, July 26, 2009
    在 孤 单 时 你 一 定 要 坚 强

    renew. || 10:21 PM

  • 还在努力地搞笑
  • i never found the words to say
    even though i think about each day
    and even though that i pretend that i moved on..

    难免的侵袭
    是因为他的提醒
    否则我真的以为我可以忘记


    ---

    我在搞笑 借着热闹 掩盖着心跳
    边哭边笑 偏要说着 一个人真好
    当人群散了 突然觉得我可以死掉
    我受不了

    还在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎么熬
    这么多年 早就喜欢 有你的撒娇
    我想我能熬 但是至少要让我知道
    你好不好

    我在搞笑
    却在最后 眼泪拼命飙
    你的离开 失去多少 我计算不了

    忙完了一天 突然觉得又何必辛劳
    对谁炫耀

    还在搞笑
    是否拥有 麻痹的疗效
    唱一夜歌 却避不开 催泪的曲调

    我彻夜胡闹 希望听到有人会提到
    你好不好


    ---
    why did we i try so hard?

    renew. || 4:04 AM